I love black thongs
I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I just googled if crying burns calories
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
