So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
