so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
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