please come you make the beer taste better
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
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Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
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I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
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