Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
