Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I need to stop coming to work sober
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
its liver damage thursday
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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