Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You were trust falling into bushes
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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