My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
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