Do you still have your period?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
