I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
