look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Randomize
