my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
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