I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
