Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
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