So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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