The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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