ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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