She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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