I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
