My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Randomize
