Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
