There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
