No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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