I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize