i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
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Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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