After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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