remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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