Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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