We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize