he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
