someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
