I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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