i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
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