if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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