went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
