Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Randomize
