just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
