At least make sure they are 18
Why
well you can't waste a boner
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
