I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
