remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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