Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Randomize
