What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
