would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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