She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
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She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
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I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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