ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
We are two peas in an std pod
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I would fuck him just for his dog
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
