Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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