well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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