White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Randomize
