Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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