I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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