i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
be right there i have to get my cape
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
