i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize