think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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