Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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