I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize