i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
whose ass print is on the piano?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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