Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
this just has baby written all over it
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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