Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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