my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
