I hate your face
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
