all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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