Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
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