you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
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12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
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Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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