worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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