whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
