Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
