so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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