I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
